Get Off Your But

How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself

Get Off Your "But": How to End Self-Sabotage and Stand Up for Yourself by Sean Stephenson is a practical guide to overcoming self-defeating habits, challenging negative thinking, and developing the confidence to pursue meaningful goals. Drawing on his personal experiences and professional background as a psychotherapist and motivational speaker, Stephenson examines how fear, insecurity, and excuses can prevent people from making changes they know they need. The book's central idea revolves around the word "but," which the author uses to represent the objections people place between themselves and the lives they want to lead. Whether someone is afraid of failure, doubts their abilities, or believes they lack the time or resources to succeed, Stephenson encourages readers to recognize these mental barriers and question the assumptions that keep them stuck. His own life story, shaped in part by a rare genetic disorder that causes bones to fracture easily, provides the backdrop for his reflections on resilience, personal responsibility, and the possibility of moving beyond limiting circumstances.
Organized around six practical lessons, the book explores the importance of building meaningful connections, changing negative self-talk, developing physical confidence, directing attention toward constructive goals, choosing supportive relationships, and taking responsibility for one's decisions. Stephenson combines personal anecdotes, illustrative stories, and actionable suggestions to help readers translate these ideas into everyday behavior. Rather than focusing exclusively on positive thinking, he emphasizes the need to recognize self-sabotaging patterns and take deliberate steps toward change, even when circumstances are uncomfortable or uncertain. Published in 2009, Get Off Your "But" belongs to the popular self-help and personal development tradition, offering an accessible approach to confidence, motivation, and overcoming insecurity. Its message is particularly relevant to readers who find themselves repeatedly postponing ambitions or allowing fear and self-doubt to dictate their choices. Ultimately, the book encourages readers to stop treating obstacles as automatic reasons to give up and begin taking greater ownership of the direction of their lives.